Late Night Thoughts

Actually it is early morning. 12:38 to be exact. I am 25 days into the maintenance phase of therapy for multiple myeloma after having my stem cell transplant. I am counting those maintenance days heavily, because Darselex Faspro, the drug they use to keep my cancer from returning, is supposed to start leaving the system at 20 days. In my system, where my cancer level is not detectable at this point, it causes me to wake up every single night with charlie horse like pain in my legs after about two hours of sleep.

The only way I can withstand the pain, until the Tylenol I take kicks in, is to take a hot bath. Then, after about a thirty-minute soak in the tub, which quiets the pain, it takes me at least twenty minutes to dry off. I guess skin takes in a lot of water when you bathe.

Some nights I go down to the kitchen and write in a journal. Some nights I bake. Some nights I read. As long as I am standing up, I can keep the pain at a dull tired hum.

My strategy tonight is to see if I can get evaporated enough to go back to sleep at around 1:00, thus losing only an hour.

Every night I have so much hope that I might make it through. Every night I try something new.

It is now just about 1:00. I'm heading back to bed. Wish me luck.