Sunday, February 21, 2010

Yamaha Recall

This important notice has been floating around the internet, and I just wanted to make sure that readers of this blog get the message.
Yamaha has recalled 20,000 pianos due to a problem with the pedal sticking, causing pianists to play faster than they normally would, resulting in a dangerous number of accidentals. The sticky pedal also makes it harder for jazz pianists to come to a full stop at the end of a piece making it extremely risky for audiences.
We can all thank my friend Sharry for sending this my way.

And we can thank Bernie Zaslav for forwarding me this lively (albeit pun-ridden) continuation today (March 21):
Although there have been a tremendous number of accidentals, fortunately it has so far caused no deafs. Analysts are wondering if it will put a damper on their bass market and if they will be able to sustain sales. Congress is also considering calling in the President of Yamaha for questioning as to when the company first learned about the treble.

Here's an update on that Yamaha piano recall: Congressional inquiries brought a sharp response from president Mitsuru Umemura of Yamaha, who quickly played down the scale of the problem before taking the fifth. "Only a few modal years are affected by what is a relative minor problem," he replied tiercely. With no progression towards a resolution, sales of Yamaha pianos have gone flat, and market analysts predict an interval of diminished revenue for the company. The
president announced that Yamaha would triadvertising more and fine tune their marketing strategies in order to augment sales.
N.B. I take no credit (or blame) for these puns, and neither does Bernie. "Tierce" is another word for the interval of the third. "Triadvertising" is a stretch, but there is no way to truly hyphenate it so that the "triad" part of the word stands out.

1 comment:

Olivia Margaret said...

There is further news:

"The management of Yamaha today announced that their in-house security coda had been broken, and all details of the incident had been accidentally released to the general public, bringing a Finale to the news blackout imposed by Yamaha last week.

The coda, written in CCC#, an obscure programming language, was reportedly leaked by an employee of MIDI-Maid Inc. who was in charge of cleaning the extraneous notes from the Tritone Trap of Yamaha's Sound Forge metalworking equipment at the end of each day.

The employee, in a press conference, said she got a "cheap trill " out of leaking "such dissonant news". Her former employer announced an investigation, and issued a sharp denial of any attempts to downplay the seriousness of the induced stretto on its other employees.

"The CEO of Sony remarked that such unrest was very bad for the industry and expressed the desire that further discussion be carried on in dulcet, piano semitones...