I just returned from a week in New York, New Jersey, and Boston without an instrument and without my computer (hence the silence on this particular speck of internet bandwidth). I re-connected with my violin this afternoon. My fiddle playing sounds crude, sloppy, and out of tune, but the very fact that I can make sounds come out of my instrument using my two hands helps me feel far less fragmented than I felt while away--dashing from place to place, and expressing myself only in very limited, and sometimes guarded ways.
Practicing seems to re-ignite and lubricate my psychic pathways, and seems to make my energy flow forward instead of being in a state of stasis. Just like static electrical energy, static emotional energy is seriously counterproductive. After weeks like this one I am reminded that emotional energy is very real, and that I have an abundance of it.
The tactile part of expression is terribly important. What goes in (or on) helps make it easier for stuff to go out. I'm happy to be back in my own little corner and in my own little chair, with my own computer adjusted in such a way that I can type comfortably and read without my glasses.
I'll certainly have more to say about my trip, but right now I think I'll go back to practicing some Bach.